Liam is 4 months old!

4 months brings us new things such as rolling over from back to front and front to back.  He's learning his consonants specifically the g sound and loves to say gah and gee over and over again.  It's super cute and he literally thinks he's having a conversation with you!  We got to spend about a week with my sister and my youngest nephew.  It was super nice to have her here and see that some of the things I do as a parent are totally normal.  Her best advice was do what works for you and your kiddo, not what some book tells you.  Who knows your kiddo better than you? 

Towards the end of his 4 month my little stinker decided that sleep was for the birds.  He started waking every 2-3 hours.  He seemed to be refluxing more and more especially at night so we ended up making an appointment with a new pediatrician because ours didn't want to dose his reflux meds to his weight.  I increased his prilosec dose on my own and it seemed to help quite a bit!  I also wondered if he was teething because he was chomping pretty hard on mine and Matt's fingers!  So I got an amber necklace to try out.  I'm totally not convinced with the amber necklaces. 

We had our first experiences outside and he kept his sunglasses on the whole time!  It's so much fun to watch Liam grown and change day by day.  

 Playing in his new jumping toy from Aunt Donna and family

 Oh Hi Mom you came to see me!

 Daddy's boy (after he's fed and changed! before then he's momma's boy!)

 Let me hold you up cousin

 I just like to hold my cousin's hand

 My first mother's day, someone didn't want to take a family selfie!

 Mom...hungry!

 I have no idea how my husband did this but he got all three puppies and the baby's foot print in my Mother's Day book!

 After a night of no sleep, sometimes you just give in and sleep with the baby on the couch

 Our first outside experience!

 Such a sweet guy!

 He slept maybe an hour the night before and refused his naps...I tried everything I could think of and he was just fussy!  This is when we figured out that his reflux meds weren't working well and we needed a dose adjustment

 He was so tired but wouldn't fall asleep so we went for a walk...he's still awake and had been for nearly 4 hours.  Poor guy was nearly beside himself

 He finally passed out and slept for 2 or 3 hours!

 Not an awesome day this day either but he was sitting up and balancing himself!

 After yet another night of very little sleep this was the happiest that he was (I believe this was outfit #3 for the day after several poopslosions)

 On his 4th outfit of the day and he's had enough

 All he really wanted was to be naked and take his bath.  Silly bug!

 Sweet guy, I'm not always fast enough to catch a good smile.  He was just smiling a second before I snapped this pic then he was way more interested in Daddy's hands!

 Daddy is often the center of Liam's universe!  I love how Liam likes to 'talk' to him

 Sporting his $1 jeans that I found at a garage sale and staring at his book.  Notice the bulldog 'protecting' his baby boy

 Watching Baby Einstein and playing with his feet.  Notice the bulldog 'protecting' his baby again!

 Crashed after a little snack from mom.

 Oh this?  I'll just pull myself up mom, I'd really rather sit than lay down thanks.

 Mom did you see my toes?

 Oh hey mom, I was just sitting up.  Do you like my elephant?

 4 month pictures, he's loving his toys!

 A sweet smile on a sweet boy!

 Why aren't you in my mouth!

If you're lucky and you get him to laugh he will reward you with this smile where you can see both dimples.  This smile melts my heart and makes me forget how tired I really am!  Even though I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time I know that God chose me to be Liam's mom and that we will always find our 'normal' sometimes it just takes more time than I want it too!

Breastfeeding...sometimes sucks

Don't get me wrong I truly enjoy nursing my little guy most of the time but there are some things about breastfeeding that really suck!

Things that suck:
1. Pumping to maintain a supply
2. Missing out on conversing with your co-workers in the break room because you have to pump (this may be a pro for some of you!)
3. Constant worry that you don't have enough milk even though evidence points to the contrary through the number of wet/dirty diapers
4. Leaking
5. Constantly wearing a bra so that rough fabrics don't touch your nipples
6. Nursing in public when your kiddo is in a phase of latching and pulling off every few second because the flow isn't to his liking or he needs to burp or he's looking around or some other issue that I'm not aware of
7. Have I mentioned pumping?  Yeah I have a hate-hate relationship with pumping!
8. The initial 6 weeks both sucks and is awesome because you're both learning how to nurse and it's pretty sore!
9. The first couple of growth spurts, they make you doubt your supply and that you are even doing it right because baby wants to eat every 45 min-90 min and it's draining (literally and figuratively).

Things that are awesome:
1. The sweet noises that he makes when he's nursing
2. The powerful feeling you have when you know and understand that your body not only provided a place for him to grow and develop but now it's providing the perfect amount of nutrition for him
3. Not having to get up in the middle of the night to make a bottle (just lay on side, open shirt, attach baby...fall back asleep)
4. When he smiles or talks at you when you are getting him ready to nurse
5. Milk is always the right temperature
6. The special bond that you have with him because of nursing
7. The awesome release of hormones that always remind me why I love this little guy so much!
8. The initial 6 weeks because it's a sweet sweet look that you get when you nurse

Maintaining a supply is not for the weak!  I hate to pump but pumping helps maintain a supply and puts milk in my freezer.  Recently I felt like my supply took a dive.  It was when Liam was so sick.  I was giving him pumped milk in bottles because he had such a hard time nursing and breathing at the same time.  I couldn't seem to get my supply to come back so I started taking fenugreek and blessed thistle.  It seemed to boost me with in a couple days and again I hate to pump so it wasn't as awesome as it maybe should have been.  I had heard about power pumping but was unsure exactly how to do it so google to the rescue!  I found an awesome blog that helped me out!  I power pumped for 3 days in a row and it was awesome (well slightly sore).  I did 10 min on, 10 off for an hour (so I pumped 3 times for 10 min in an hour time span).  I have finally gotten a similar amount out of my left side as my right!  I used to get 4-5oz out of my right (while at work) and 2ish ounces of my left.  Last week after my power pumping days I got 3oz out of each side!

I think I will do this 'power pumping' at least once a week to help maintain this level of milk so I can reach my next goal of breastfeeding...6 months!  Liam and I have been nursing for nearly 4 months now and most days I like it but sometimes I just wish it was a little easier you know?

Breastfeeding works for some women but doesn't work for other.  The key is to find what works for you and your baby and stick with it.  If nursing is something you want to do...make an appointment with a lactation consultant.  That was seriously the best thing I did.  The non-help I received in the hospital would've made me quit if I wouldn't have had the LC I did.  I would've fought to nurse for 6 weeks but I would've been so sore!  I saw my LC 3 different times just to make sure we were still latching alright and doing things right.

The few things I remembered through my haze of early motherhood was this: it will hurt to latch the first few weeks but it should lessen after about 30-60 seconds.  If it doesn't unlatch and relatch.  Use wool breast pads to keep your nipples warm because seriously even the air from taking your bra off will hurt in those first few days!  Use your own breastmilk on your nipples to help with the cracks.  If they don't heal within a couple days ask for a prescription nipple butter.  The cracks in your nipples invite bacteria in and is one of the main causes of mastitis (not awesome!). 

I did get mastitis when Liam was about a month old.  It was just a reddened area on my left breast but it was hot, angry, and itchy.  I drew a line to see if it spread and it was way worse from 11pm to the next morning.  I ended up getting pretty fatigued but thankfully didn't have the whole nausea, vomiting, or fever (although Matt says I ran a fever that night because my skin was really hot!).

Liam is 3 months old!

Three months brings us more smiles!  We are getting into more of a routine of sleeping and eating and playing.  This month brings me back to work which is both nice and not awesome all at the same time.  Nice in the fact that this is my chosen profession and I truly enjoy what I do.  Not awesome because I don't like being away from Liam for that long.  Living 30 min away from the hospital seriously sucks because that's an extra hour I am away from home each day. 

Liam is starting to grab at his toys more and more and gets this super cute look of concentration when he is trying to grab at a toy. 

Matt took his paternity leave this month for a week and we got to do a lot of fun things.  We went up to Redmond, WA to visit aunts and uncle.  Liam was not terribly happy about it as his schedule got screwed up too much!  We went to the Brooks outlet store north of Seattle and got a couple pairs of running shoes (super cheap!).  I also got some new non-maternity clothes!!  We learned how to nurse fairly covered up out in public (hey when baby is hungry; baby needs to eat!).  It's not my favorite thing to nurse a baby out in public but it is way better than listening to him scream because he's hungry!

Our third month brought on Liam's first sickness which is detailed out in another blog.  Thankfully this was before I went back to work so I was able to stay with Liam through the duration of his sickness.

The best part about Liam?  He's very vocal.  He likes to carry on a conversation with Matt and I!  When I got home after my first day back to work Matt handed Liam to me and Liam just looked at me for a couple minutes.  Then he reached out to touch me and started to 'tell' me about his day.  It was the absolute cutest thing ever!  He sat and chatted at me for nearly 20 minutes before he got hungry.

Liam also got to meet his Aunt Donna for the first time and his cousin Ethan.  We had a lovely week and were sad to see them go!

 Big Smiles!

 Our week with Daddy at home every day!

Getting his head up off the floor!  Well he's been doing this since birth but now he's doing it more during tummy time!

 Cutie pie!

 How we entertain kiddos in our household.  We run the bulldog on the treadmill!

 Sleepy boy!  Mommy put him down so she could fold his clothes and put them away and turned around and saw this!

 After 4 years of ttc, one miscarriage, several failed fertility treatments, and a surgery...this little guy is truly Mommy's most wanted!

 This dog came down the stairs with Liam's pacifier in his mouth like this.  I was laughing way to hard to even find a camera so we had to recreate this :)

 Got to love mommy/baby selfies!

 Mr. No Sleep on Easter Sunday.  We kept him home because he was still getting over being sick.  I was super bummed because Easter is my favorite church service.

 This was the look that I got when I asked Liam if he was going to miss me when I went back to work.

 My second day back to work

 'Little Hunk' and his Sofie the giraffe (huge hit!)

 Just sleeping next to mommy.  Mommy learned how to nurse on her side so she's getting way more sleep now!

 Real men babywear and play the drums.  Note how the ears are protected :)  Matt said Liam loved the vibrations from the drums!

 Daddy went to Alaska and we prayed for his safe trip and for Aunt Donna's safe trip to see us!

Our first sickness

It all started out with some stuffiness.  I noticed that Liam was stuffy and so I suctioned him out a couple times with a bulb syringe.  It didn't really get any better but didn't get any worse.  Then he started coughing.  He woke up at his usual 2:30am time to eat but he just didn't sound right so I got up with him and went to the extra bedroom.  I tried to nurse him but he wasn't able to get the whole suck, swallow, breath thing.  I thought well he's stuffy so ok, he ate really well at midnight so I'm not worried yet.  At 4:30 he was up again and he still couldn't nurse.  He barely had a wet diaper and he was starting to be listless.  I called my mom (thank goodness for 2 hour time difference!) just to make sure that I was thinking the right things and wasn't overreacting and being that first time mom.

I woke Matt up at 6:30 and told him to get ready because we were going to the doctor.  I had been up nearly all night with Liam listening to him breathe and now it was time to go in because there was nothing more that I could do for him at home.  We got to the clinic and thankfully we went when we did because Liam was starting to go into respiratory distress.  He was starting to have some nasal flaring.  This seriously frightened me!  Thankfully when I get scared in a medical situation I can fall back on 'nurse mode'.  Nurse mode is a safe place to be, it lets me function and see objectively the problem at hand without panicking. 

Our nurse was also named Liam so we had a bond there :)  He listened to what I was saying.  Measured Liam and weighed him and then got the doctor.  She listened to him for a long time and her wheezes.  She gave us some neb treatments to do every 4 hours.  We brought him home and gave him a neb right away and it seemed to help!  3 hours later he needed another one and then 3 hours after that.  So I called the triage nurse and she thought it might be best to bring him back in.  We went back in that evening and the doctor barely even listened to him and said that nasal flaring was due to his stuffiness rather than his inability to breathe.  Now I was very frustrated and felt like all those skills I learned in nursing school were wrong.  The worst part is she was patronizing me and because Liam didn't have sternal or intercostal retractions he wasn't having difficulty breathing.  Did she honestly think I would let it get that bad before I brought him in?  So we went home and I held him that night for the second night in a row.

The next day we parked in the extra bedroom with the humidifier on and breathing treatments every 4 hours.  We got a new suction thing that seemed to get more snot out of his nose (he still hated it)!  He seemed to be doing much better!  Wednesday he started to sound worse again so I made an appt with a nurse practitioner at my ped's office.  She was very kind and taught very well!  I don't do a lot of peds and so they kinda scare me.  I do appreciate good teaching though!  We went home with a new neb machine, some better information, and feeling like we didn't suck as parents!

I held Liam for 3 days straight except to take care of those things you need to do everyday like go to the bathroom and shower.  It was scary to hear him struggle to breathe and scary at how fast it got to that point.  I'm so thankful for my nursing assessment skills and training!  I'm also thankful for 'nurse mode' because it allowed me to do what needed to be done without freaking out!

 This was Sunday night/Monday morning

 What kind of a kiddo will let you put on a mask like this?  A sick one!

 Even sick he was trying to be happy!

 Day 2 of no sleep but at least he was sleeping

 Poor sick boy!  He usually went to sleep with the sound of the machine which was nice!

 I was tired after 3 days of no sleep but after 4 years of trying to get this little guy...I had no place else I wanted to be other than caring for my sick son!

 Such a sweet sick guy!

Liam is 2 months!

It's incredible to think that we've had Liam for 2 months (well almost 3 but I'm a bit behind!) Liam is learning how to bat at things and I am able to put him down for longer periods of time in his bouncy seat or swing.

Liam loves to be talked to, loves music, and loves his play mat.  It's so much fun to watch him grow!  We've had some trouble with reflux.  We started on some zantac twice a day and had a dose increase before we finally settled on Prilosec.  Once we got on that it seems that our boy has been doing much better.  Those were some terrible nights until we got that all settled.  It was like having a newborn at night who refused to nap during the day...so no sleep for anyone.

Grandma left us on the anniversary of our first child's due date.  Grandma was here for 7.5 weeks helping me learn how to trust those instincts that God instilled in me as a woman and a mother.  Since then we've been trying to learn our own routine of waking and sleeping and eating.  It's taken us awhile but we may actually have a routine.

Some highlights of the month include a sightseeing trip into Seattle with my parents, uncle, and brother in law, and daddy.  We met Grandpa for the first time.  We started catching more smiles on camera and we have started venturing out of the house a little more.

 He started really enjoying his bath time.  Yes we use the kitchen sink :)

 His favorite place to sleep is still on Mommy (it's my favorite place too!)

 Catching smiles on camera!

 Babywearing in Seattle: yes he was safe, yes he was too low but it was chilly and we wanted to keep him warm.  We were checking airway every 30ish seconds.  Matt had his hand in there most of the time under his chin to make sure it was up :)

 My dad's first trip to Seattle and our first trip up the Space Needle.  It was windy, misty and a beautiful view of Seattle!

 Bring me to Mom!  Our bug talking to Grandpa after church

 Getting out of the house for a walk in our new ergo.  Daddy is warmer than Mommy!

 Grandpa is hilarious Mom!

 Grandpa you're funny, you should come more often!

 Mom was Grandpa always this funny?

 A huge thank you to my mom for staying with us after Liam's birth.  She helped me while I was so sore after my c-section.  I would wake up and there would magically be food and water/juice next to me!  She helped me learn to trust those mommy instincts that God gave me and helped to trust that my milk was good and that since he was growing that he was ok.  Thank-you Mom!

 My first solo trip with Liam...to Target of course!

 2 months!
Liam is 23in long (50ish%)
13lbs 0.5oz (75%)

 He loves to smile at Mom and Dad!

 He's a silly guy!